Yesterday at 11:57am, I handed over the envelope and asked the mail clerk to add postage. Enclosed were an application, transcript, reference letter, essays, and a check. Destination? Admissions Office. Grove City College. 100 Campus Drive. Grove City. PA. 16127. Since with the application goes the understanding that, if accepted, he is agreeing to an "early decision," there is no turning back.
Jonathan will soon be leaving for college.
I had some mixed feelings about sending the letter. On one hand, it's a huge relief. The college search can be overwhelming. We've talked about it for a year, but done little about it. Checked out some websites. Put all the mail in one big box. A few weeks ago, Jon, Tim and I made a road trip to Grove City (Karen's and my Alma Mater). We have a nephew there, and a good friend from church. It was our only college visit. Both boys loved it. We intended to visit a few others, but never did. Applying for early decision simplifies life.
On the other hand, there are questions. Did we do enough research? Is this really the right place? How will we pay for it? Can I survive with my son five hours away?
The first three questions just require peace, pragmatism and prayer. The last one requires more of me than I can give just yet. I'm not ready to sort through the emotions associated with my first child leaving for college. I'm not ready to think about him turning 18, throwing his last pitch of high school baseball, or walking across the stage in a cap and gown. On top of that, the thought of Tim being a senior next year is too much for me. I'm going to ignore those concepts for now--if I don't think about them maybe they aren't real--and deal with the present. Basketball tryouts are tonight. There's a roast in the crock pot. We have youth group on Sunday. There's a boatload of laundry to do, and most of it belongs to Jon and Tim.
I still have a few months to wrestle with it all, and write more blogs about it, I suppose. I just need some more time.
For now, the letter is in the mail. Heck, it's probably arriving today, in the very office where we had the admissions interview. I wonder what they'll think of my son?
I wonder if they'll realize how much he's loved, and how hard it was to send that letter?
I was teary as I read this. It's tough. And it's also a very beautiful thing that you've done a good job and he's ready to go! I could be sad every day that I spend without my boys. Or I can be thankful for all they are contributing to the world. When I see all they are and imagine all they will become, I thank God for the wisdom, strength, and humor He gave me to nurture these precious gifts to adulthood! And trust me, when kids are raised by parents like you and Karen, they never forget where home is!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jill. I know all that is true; I just prefer not to think too much about it yet. Denial can be good for the spirits, and I enjoy my kids so much, I don't want them to leave just yet!
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