I am a V

Our latest diversion/indulgence/obsession at the Andersons is the new TV show, "V." "V" stands for "Visitors." It's a cheesy, poorly-written, hole-filled, inadequately-acted new series about the appearance of an alien race above the skies of earth, who set about to win the loyalty of humanity with promises of healing, goodness and peace while secretly planning to eat us or something (ultimate purpose yet to be explained). I have to admit, it's so bad that I find myself enjoying it immensely.

I don't suppose the show will last all that long, but for now, it's looking promising for some escapist entertainment on Tuesday nights. Since I'm letting my mind wander into a catatonic state for an hour each week, I figured I should offer a penance and perform some intellectual exercises on Wednesday morning. So here it is.

I am a "V." Here's how:

I am an alien. The earth is not my home.
I am exceptionally attractive on the outside, but pretty ugly on the inside.
I cannot allow anyone to see the inside or they would be horrified.

I do everything I can to fit in and appear normal.

I speak good things while secretly plotting evil things.
I sometimes use people for my own purposes.
I have secret plans to rule the world (see Blog title).
I am only here for a season, or maybe a few.

There you have it -- my true identity. I am a "V," living among other "Vs," some of whom are aware of their true identity and some who are not. If you want to join me, put on the uniform and meet me at the New York spaceship. We can rule the world together.

Thomas and his Father

I live in a household dominated by teeangers.

Jonathan and Timothy are the driving forces in our home. They are busy with friends, sports, church activities, and now girls, work, and requests for the car. Weekends come, and my plans to hang out with Karen, watch a movie, or go out to dinner, are usually squashed by the Paris Hilton-esque social calendars of my teenage sons. They seem to go to any lengths to avoid being home or seen with me outside of church.

It makes me thankful for Thomas.

He's still 11. He's not a teenager yet, hasn't discovered girls, doesn't have to go "out" to have fun, and isn't a social networker like his brothers. He's been the easiest of our three kids to raise. He is easy to please, talented, funny, affectionate. He loves the things I love (baseball, Steelers, music). And every day he teaches me a simple lesson about God.

It is this: Every time he leaves for school, and every time he goes to bed, he asks for me.

"Tell Dad I said 'goodbye,' he says as he leaves for school if I'm not up yet. "Tell Dad 'goodnight' and I love him,' he relays through Karen to me if he is going to bed while I'm still downstairs watching TV. He can't leave the house or go to bed without communicating a quick message to his father. It's as if his life is not complete without an acknowledgement to me -- a word of love, a hug, a goodbye -- before moving on to even the most mundane of things like sleep or school.

I love my son. And I love what he teaches me. May I do the same with my Heavenly Father, every moment acknowledging him, telling him I love him, when I rise, when I sleep, when I am on the road or safe at home, so that no moment is lived separated from him.

Deuteronomy 5:4-9

Redskins to try novel approach to QB position

-Landover, MD
Having already benched Jim Zorn as play-caller and replaced him with newly-hired consultant Sherman Lewis, the Washington Redskins are now set to try something totally unprecedented in the NFL -- a passing-only QB.

Head Coach Jim Zorn, reading a memo from Executive Vice President of Football Operations, Vinny Cerrato, which was then translated by Offensive Consultant Sherman Lewis, hand-copied by Offensive Coordinator Sherman Smith, and sent to Zorn via a carrier pigeon, announced this morning that starting quarterback Jason Campbell will no longer throw any passes. Instead, backup Todd Collins will enter the game whenever the Redskins plan to pass. Campbell will remain in the game for all running plays.

"We love Jason Campbell. We think he gives us the best chance to win the game as the starting quarterback and has a great future in this league," Zorn said. "He hands off as well as anyone. But the passing game just isn't there, and we think it's time for a change, so we are bringing in another arm to try and spruce up the passing game."

"It may seem unusual," Cerrato's memo said. "But I just found out the other day that some teams have what they consider 'third-down' backs whose primary responsibility is to catch passes out of the backfield. So I thought to myself, Why not have a third-down quarterback? I've talked to Mr. Snyder and he likes the idea. We ran it by Sherman and Sherman and Jim, and we all agree this is the thing to get our offense going."

Campbell wasn't thrilled with the idea of sitting out the pass plays, but seemed resigned to the need for a change. "Let's face it," he said. "Getting those plays called from the booth to the sideline to the other sideline to the front office and then to me -- it has made things awfully complicated. If this simplifies things and helps us win, then I guess we can try it.

"At least I won't get sacked."

Collins, on the other hand, seemed happy to get his chance. "It will be nice to come into the game and run for my life and throw the ball," he said. "I just hope somebody catches it."

Asked about the likelihood of opposing teams looking exclusively for the pass when Collins enters the game, Zorn said, "We thought of that. But we've already been pretty predictable, so this is just the next step in that process."

Defensive Coordinator Greg Blache had no comment.

Running back Clinton Portis had this to say. "The way this season is going, it's definitely time for a Todd Collins."