Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hoping She Goes M.I.A.

So apparently this past Sunday night, M.I.A. flipped me off. Dressed like a castoff from an old Bangles video, and performing a classy routine during Madonna's halftime show at the Super Bowl, M.I.A. thought it necessary to give me the finger.

I missed it. I was at a big Super Bowl party at church, and had gathered all the kids in another room for halftime so I could show off my mad skills at Just Dance. You might say I was putting on my own halftime show. I have moves like Jagger. I was having so much fun dancing with my wife and the gang at the party that I got a little sweaty and had to take off my shirt. But I had a t-shirt on underneath, just in case you were concerned about a wardrobe malfunction.

So I wasn't aware of M.I.A.'s anger towards me until Monday morning.

Honestly, I had never even heard of M.I.A. before. All I knew of her was the picture I saw online, dressed like King Tut, flipping me the finger. Something stuck in my memory banks though. I swear I saw the headpiece she was wearing in a photo shoot in National Geographic, and that finger looked vaguely familiar too. A rear view mirror on Route 270, perhaps? I'm not sure. Anyway, I couldn't place her face, so I did an internet search. It turns out she's not a P.O.W. or even M.I.A. Instead, she's a British rap "artist" known for her "performance." She's also in a relationship with the lead singer from D.O.A., with whom she was seen exhibiting P.D.A. while trying to get through T.S.A. at D.I.A. None of that explains why she was mad at S.H.A. (that's me).

I guess I'll just be left wondering, though not for long. I mean, with talent like hers, who needs shock value? Since I didn't even know she existed, I won't miss her. She'll disappear back into her tomb until Brendan Fraser finds her, embalmed with her middle finger extended. By then she'll be ready to do the Super Bowl show again with the equally-embalmed Madonna. Maybe I can dance with them? Don't worry--I'll keep my shirt on.