The True Audience

Yesterday afternoon, Rafael Nadal and John Isner, two of the world's top tennis players, squared off in the championship of a tournament in Cincinnati. They spent a few hours hammering serves, diving for balls, and smashing great shots in front of thousands of people in the stands and hundreds of thousands of TV viewers. It was a spectacle. Professional tennis is a great spectator sport.

Meanwhile, I was playing tennis with a good friend in Urbana. We are the same age, and he always beats me because he stinks a little less than I do. I joked to Joel, my opponent, "You know, each of us has the advantage when the other guy is hitting." We were playing in front of no one, moving like three-legged deer, hitting the ball with the authority and confidence of inebriated monkeys. It's a good thing no one was watching. Old man tennis may be a spectacle too, but it's not a spectator sport.

This morning I'm reflecting on the power of being watched, and I'm asking myself a few questions: Is my life a spectator sport? Is anyone watching? Does the size of the audience matter? Does my level of play--the consistency of my life--remain the same whether I am alone with God or in the company of many? I think they call this integrity.

As a pastor, I know I am being watched. People expect certain responses and behaviors. They watch my interaction with others, or with my family, and they form opinions, good and bad, about my character and my worthiness for "ministry." I don't know if it's fair, but it's normal and I've come to expect it. People who know me well realize how normal and screwed up I am, but I confess that there are times I find myself acting a certain way just to impress strangers who might be watching. I want to please the crowd and make it look like I am something more than I really am. It's stupid. Poser.

On the other hand, there are lots of times when I fail to live up to my own expectations in the privacy of my own heart. Those are the days when my integrity is more embarrassing then old men playing bad tennis. While nobody else may see the nonsense being played out on the court of my interior life, I see it. And more importantly, my Heavenly Father sees it. He is the truest, most discerning audience of all. And while he convicts me of my failure and desires my improvement, he also loves me in spite of it all. His mercies are new every morning. I am thankful that he watches me not with judgment, but with forgiveness, compassion, and maybe even a sense of humor. It's an audience I can play before without fear, no matter how bad I look.

I hope you can play better than I do, and I hope you hear the encouraging applause of your biggest fan no matter how well or how poorly you think you are doing.

Can't Buy Me Love

"I don't care too much for money; money can't buy me love." - The Beatles

Tomorrow is payday.

It's a good thing, too, because this has been an expensive month in our household. We've had car repairs, plumbing issues, and the normal costs of raising three sons with shoes on their feet and pizza in their bellies. Let's just say that our checking account is lower than the Potomac in August. It's causing me more than a little stress.

Here's a crazy thought. What if I was due to earn $114 million over the next five years?

Wouldn't that be awesome? Wouldn't that relieve my stress? Wouldn't that bring me joy and happiness, peace and love?

Just consider the enormity of that figure. Can you even imagine how much money that is? The math is breathtaking! It represents what Karen and I would earn in 1520 years. If I had $114 million, I could pay off my house, my car, my credit card, and have 113,882,234 left. I could put the remainder in a CD paying a paltry .001% and be so flush with cash I could buy us all not only new shoes, but new socks as well--maybe even those really expensive over-priced Nike ones that would make me look cool!

Yes, if I was due to make $114 million in the next five years, I'd be the happiest man in the world. I'd be the most popular man in Frederick County. My beautiful wife would be adorned in the latest fashion, and I'd have so many friends--true and committed--I wouldn't know how to divide my time. All my worries would be over, a memory as distant as my last paycheck.

Or would they?

Maybe we should ask Alex Rodriguez.

Perhaps you've heard of him. He is one of the greatest baseball players in history. Top ten all time in homers, RBIs and runs. 15-time All Star. Finished in the top 10 MVP voting 14 times and won 3 of them. Baseball's first $250 million man. Yeah, that guy. At age 38, he is still set to make another $114 million.

He is also a steroid user and one of the most despised players in sports. His wife left him. The fans hate him. His teammates ignore him. His team would do anything to get rid of him. The media hounds him. The Commissioner's office is about to suspend him. Despite his enormous fame, talent and wealth, he never received what is most valuable--joy and happiness, peace and love. Baseball writer Buster Olney likened him to Charles Foster Kane, magnate of Citizen Kane fame--a man whose crash from the pinnacle of success left him broken and alone, without a single ally. At least he'll have his $114 million to keep him company. Too bad it won't buy him what he really needs.

So tomorrow is payday. Another day, another pizza on the table and a pair of sneakers on Thomas's feet. I'm happy about that. I'm even happier I am not Alex Rodriguez.

Not-So-Super Choice

As a lifelong, passionate Pittsburgh Steelers' fan, tomorrow's Super Bowl presents a terrible dilemma. Do I root for the hated Ravens to win and celebrate Ray Lewis' retirement party on the 50-yard line of the Superdome in front of millions? Or do I root for the 49ers, whose victory would tie them with the Steelers for most Super Bowl rings, and take away my go-to comeback for every Steeler taunt I've ever heard? It's a gut-wrenching, throat-gagging choice. I've been dreading this decision for two weeks, and I've finally decided to do what's best for yours truly. So, even though I love football and am hosting a youth group party at church, I'm going to skip the game altogether. Instead, I'm going to choose one of these options, all of which are preferable to the agony of watching this game, and worse--the specter of that too-painful post-game show. Here are some ideas I've come up with.

1. Try out that new liver and corn syrup recipe I got from Taste of Home.
2. Read War and Peace. In Russian. Backwards. Out Loud.
3. Take a cold shower, then sit on my chimney naked with some iced tea.
4. Ride the Metro with my plunger to see if I can find any public toilets that are clogged.
5. Try out my new staple gun on my forehead.
6. Mix some organic perfume from what I can find in the litter box.
7. Try to startle my dog with my face.
8. Shave my entire body with a cheese grater.
9. Download and listen to every Air Supply album ever made.
10. Join the Team Edward Fan Club.
11. Have a dance-off with Kids Bop 24.
12. Edit all the Nicki Minaj clips from American Idol into one video.
13. Start a Chihuahua collection.
14. Baste a camel.
15. Start training for a barefoot marathon.
16. Grind some glass and make a smoothie.
17. See how far I can get in my car wearing a blindfold.
18. Take the SAT practice test.
19. Watch highlights of all the Super Bowl halftime shows of the past 10 years.
20. Make some holiday garlands out of snakes.
21. Call the IRS just to make sure they haven't missed anything.
22. Smoke some used dryer sheets.
23. Walk to England.
24. Watch Mister Rogers Neighborhood: The Complete Collection.
25. Iron my back.

Those are just the first things that come to mind. If it wasn't for the small glimmer of joy I'm going to experience from being with good friends and chomping some tasty chicken wings at our party, I'd probably just sit at home and watch replays of Super Bowls IX, X, XIII, XIV, XL and XLIII. Someone, please take my iron before I hurt myself.

Church Shopping Network

“Good morning! Welcome to Faith Church. Is this your first time here?”

Yes. We were out shopping and decided to stop by.

“Oh. Well, what brings you to our church today?"

I said we were out shopping. We are looking for the best deal. You know, doing some test-driving to find the right one for us.

“Test-driving? I don’t understand.”

We are test-driving churches. Churches are like cars, you know. Every so often we need a new one. So we are comparing all the features, looking for the right one for our family. It's a big investment, so we want to find the one that is perfect for us and meets our every need before we fork over a lot of cash. Haha

“Hmm. That’s interesting. What are some of the factors you are looking for, if I may ask?"

Well, we have a checklist of sorts. We rate each church based on five things. The first thing we look for is what we call the Refrigerator Door Test.

“That’s an interesting term.”

Yes. You see, our weekends are very full and our lives are very busy with other things. So we are looking for a church that is open when we need it, like a refrigerator door. It’s good to know there always something tasty inside when the mood hits. Our church needs to have all its services at times that are convenient for us.

“Hmm. Ok. What are some other factors?"

Well, there’s also the Porridge Preaching Test.

“I don’t understand.”

You remember Goldilocks, don’t you? Some porridge is too hot, some is too cold, but some is just right? Well, we like our preaching to be convicting, but not too convicting, challenging but not too challenging, a little Jesus, but not too much Jesus. I think the Bible says something about eating the word, so we want it to be just right.

“I hope you don’t burn your tongue. What else are you looking for?”

The next thing on our checklist is the XM Radio Test.

“I bet I can guess what that is. You want to pick the music yourself?”

Of course not! We want the worship pastor to pick the music, as long as he chooses what we like. Goodness, we aren’t in charge here, are we?

“No I suppose not. Is there anything else you are looking for?”

Yes, there’s the Youth Group Snuggy Test.

“That’s a new one. What does it mean?”

You know what a Snuggy is, right? When you are in your Snuggy, you just feel so warm and content because the Snuggy revolves around you! Our teenagers don’t like to be out of their comfort zone even for a moment. So we are looking for a youth group where there’s not even a second of awkwardness or discomfort. We already make them go to school, so do you think we are going to make them go to church or youth group, too? It’s all about them, you know.

“I wonder where they got an idea like that. So, is there anything else?”

Well, there’s one last thing, actually. It’s called the Perfect Brownie Test.

“The Perfect Brownie? I think I saw that on TV. It’s that pan that turns our perfect brownies every time without sticking, isn’t it? No messes to clean up.”

Yes, that’s right. You see, in other churches we’ve been to, there were, well, difficult people. Some who were kind of strange and some whose lives were kind of messy. I know this is hard to believe, but there were even some people we didn’t like that much and who didn’t like us! So we are looking for a place where everyone is just like us and perfect every time they ‘come out of the pan,’ so to speak. Haha.

“Hmm. Well, I can see why you are still shopping. I wonder what God thinks of your 'shopping list.'"

What God thinks? I'm sure he approves. He certainly wants us to go to church and be happy, right? I mean, this is America, and we did pray about it once.

"I suppose so. Anyway, I'm sure it’s hard to find a place that meets every single one of your very reasonable needs. I don’t know if we can do it here at Faith, but you are welcome to come in and see for yourselves. The service starts in ten minutes. We have a nice coffee bar. The youth room is amazing. And we have a great nursery. Would you like to sign our visitor sheet?"

No thank you. We never sign in until we are ready to make a commitment...

Brian Kelly -- Savior or Schmuck?

Three years ago, Brian Kelly became the head coach of the Notre Dame football team. I wrote in my blog at the time that he displayed a terrible lack of integrity by abandoning his team, the Cincinnati Bearcats, right before the biggest game in their history, a BCS bowl game. I predicted Notre Dame would regret hiring someone whose loyalty extended only to his own interests. Tomorrow night, Kelly's team plays for the National Championship. I'm sure Notre Dame fans are ecstatic at this prospect, and think hiring him was the greatest decision the school could have made. I say he's still a schmuck. I say character matters and will prove itself true in time, especially when coaching young men. Perhaps he has changed. Perhaps not. Here's a re-posting of my blog from December 2009.


Yesterday, a man named Brian Kelly accepted the head coaching position at Notre Dame. I had never heard of Brian Kelly before a few weeks ago, when I watched his former team, the Cincinnati Bearcats, beat Pitt in a miracle comeback, 45-44, to finish their regular season undefeated and win the Big East championship.

Brian Kelly seems to be a very good coach. He took Cincinnati's football program and built it into a national power in just three years. This year they are ranked third in the nation and will be playing in the Sugar Bowl in front of millions of viewers.

In that game, however, they will not be coached by Brian Kelly. He's already left for South Bend. He grabbed the money and the prestige and headed for the promised land faster than any of his players can run the 40.

This displays a lack of character that I find disheartening and shameful.

It's not his leaving that I find offensive. He's Irish and he's Catholic. Being the head coach at Notre Dame is to Irish Catholics what being being the quarterback of the Steelers is to boys from Pittsburgh. It's how he did it that I cannot fathom.

He accepted the job and agreed to leave his post while his team prepares to play their biggest game ever. He left his assistant coaches and more importantly, a group of young men he invested in and supposedly cared about, right before their greatest challenge. He's like a ship captain abandoning his vessel right before the battle. His actions demonstrated incredible lack of tact, shameless cowardice, and a frightful sense of narcissism.

This is how he did it. He met with his players after their football banquet (what should have been a happy time) and told them he was grateful that they made this possible for him. Then he told them he would not be coaching them in the Sugar Bowl and then snuck out the back door, with a police escort, leaving them to answer questions for the media. On the way out, he had time to change his Twitter and webpage, replacing Bearcats with Fighting Irishmen, red and black for green and gold.

Some of his players cried. Others were angry. All of them had to ask themselves a very legitimate question: Couldn't he have stayed for the Sugar Bowl, and headed off to his new job with a sense of completion? Couldn't he have taken some time to say goodbye to everyone he purported to care so much about? If he had done so, he could have left with honor and good will. He could have left with unburned bridges and relationships intact. He could have taught his team a lesson about commitment. He could have ended well. Instead, he made it all about him, left under the cover of darkness as a coward, and alienated everyone he purported to care about so deeply these past few years. In doing so, he revealed his true character as a selfish glory chaser and not a leader of young men.

Good luck, Notre Dame. I have a feeling you will regret this decision. You hired a good coach, and a lousy person.

My Top 10 Most Fascinating People

In honor of Barbara Walters’ annual list of the World’s Most Fascinating People, I was thinking about who would be on my list. After all, the people who really make life interesting are the ones we know, love, and interact with every day. So I’ve created a quick list of 10 people I admire and find fascinating. My stipulation is that I must know them personally, and they cannot be family. Okay, here we go:

10. Rick Richtmyer
Nothing makes me smile like Rick jamming out on guitar with the church worship band, while everyone else on stage is young enough to be his grandchild. The students all dig him.

9. Alexis Tchou and Kira Rubert
I love Alexis’s earnestness regarding her faith and her unwavering commitment to our youth ministry. She takes an interest in me personally and in my family. And she hugs me every time she sees me. Kira is the new Ausinette – the high school student who loves everyone, gets along with everyone, is super cool, and is “all-in” for the youth ministry. And like Alexis, she hugs me every time she sees me. (Don’t worry Ausinette – you can’t be replaced, only imitated!)

8. Nick Hage
This TJ junior just became a Christian this summer, was baptized last month, and wants to start a Bible study at his school? Dude is on fire!

7. Dan Herbert (aka. Crazy Uncle Dan)
The first time I met him I thought: Who is this guy (weirdo) with the big hair and the shirt half unbuttoned? Dan is unique – at youth conferences, he ends up on river boats eating dinner with complete strangers. But after watching him serve his struggling youth group faithfully, selflessly, and bi-vocationally for nearly five years, with seemingly little appreciation, he has become one of my heroes.

6. John Kutchey
I don't know John that well but I admire him a lot. He has coached my son Tim in basketball and baseball over the years, and we always loved the mix of knowledge, fun, encouragement and feistiness he brought to the team. He seems to have an endless supply of energy, between a demanding job, always coaching multiple teams, and being a good family guy. He's a fascinating Facebook poster, too. Only downside? That ridiculous purple bird on his car.

5. Peg Lowery and Andrea Rodriguez (tie)
Two of my favorite people exude many of the same qualities. Through all circumstances, including some very difficult family challenges, they both are steady as a river, and always loving everyone around them. Great friends and even better people.

4. Jim Newberry
I talk to my “coach” every month. It’s an odd combination of professional and personal relationship, but the wisdom Jim has dropped on me has changed the way I view my life and my calling. Though I’m a little older than he is, he’s the guru I count on to uncover greater effectiveness as a pastor and leader.

3. Patrick Curtis
I’m not gonna lie—it made me nervous hiring the senior pastor’s nephew as my intern. The things that could go wrong with that scenario! But Patrick has jumped into life at Mountain View better, faster and deeper than I could have imagined. He displays wisdom beyond his years, is diligent in his responsibilities, and is respectful of me. I’m thrilled to have him as my partner and friend.

2. Joel Stafford
Joel is simply one of the best men I know. His integrity, humility, and character are exceeded by no one. He is serious, and he is fun. He mixes the two perfectly in his role as the ageless youth worker. He has served the youth of this community faithfully and generously for 15 years, and his impact on the young men of Mountain View is exceeded by no one.

1. Karen Anderson
I had to break my own rules for the last one. My wife is my most interesting person. Her personal discipline is amazing, She gets up at 4:45 every day for exercise and devotions. Then she teaches in a demanding school environment that would have put me six feet under a long time ago. And she still has time for me, including working with the high school team just so our lives can converge more. She sees the best in people. She taught me the love of coffee. Yeah, and those early morning workouts pay off, because she’s a babe, too.

So there’s my list. If you didn’t make it, don’t be offended. I could add many more. I don’t know who was on Barbara Walters’ list, but I don’t really care. I’d take these 10 over her 10 any day of the week.

I have lots of people I admire and a select few I consider my heroes. But there's only one person I want to be. I get to see him on Friday night.

Our youth staff is going to see Andrew Peterson and his "Behold The Lamb" tour this Friday.

"Behold the Lamb" is the Christmas story told through a series of songs. It's a beautiful work of art written mostly by Andrew, and will be told by a variety of very talented musicians who travel with him every December, presenting it to audiences around the country.

For those unfamiliar with Andrew, he's a songwriter from Tennessee with 10 or 12 CDs to his credit. The first time I heard him, I wondered about his voice (a bit nasal), but the more I listened, the more I realized what an amazing songwriter he is. In the tradition of Rich Mullins (one of my heroes), Andrew sees God at work everywhere, especially in nature and in common people. He is able to capture the intersection of heaven and earth in melodies, phrases, analogies and stories like few others can. I love many of his songs. A few make me cry nearly every time I listen to them.

He is one of the founders of the Square Peg Alliance, and a contributor to the Rabbit Room, two communities of artists and musicians who bring Christian warmth and imagination to their cultural reflections and creations. To top it off, Andrew writes books for children, including a CS-Lewis like series called "The Wingfeather Saga," a four-part series full of whimsy, adventure, and toothy cows. He lives in Tennessee with his wife and three kids in a home he's nicknamed, "The Warren."

So in a nutshell, Andrew Peterson's life consists of writing great music, performing with legendary musicians, traveling when he wants to, interacting with musicians and artists of amazing creativity and faith, and writing stories, mostly for children. He doesn't have a dream job. He has a dream life. I want to be him. If only I could play guitar!

I'm exaggerating a little, of course. A few years ago Karen and I got the chance to meet him after a concert, and he's also a really nice guy, very down-to-earth and self-effacing. I'm sure he'd think my life was pretty swell and worthwhile. He's the son of a pastor after all. And he's funny, too. He'd probably say something like, "Don't be silly, Andrew Peterson."

Writing, singing, playing, creating -- I love what he does. So maybe when he's done being himself, Andrew will let me have a turn. Until then, I'll enjoy his work vicariously and go see him play when I have a chance. You should, too. I think there are still tickets available. Behold the Lamb is playing 7:00pm Friday at Covenant Life in Gaithersburg.